I am learning that joy and happiness are two different things. Happiness is external and joy is internal. Happiness is DETERMINED by our external circumstances. JOY is being content with our circumstances and finding the good in all things. I was finding it very hard to be "happy" with anything that was going on with my daughter. I was second guessing every choice I made for her care. I was in a valley where I was thinking every thing I did was not correct for her at the time. I was dissecting every move she made, and the ones she didn't, and thinking the worst. I just had that "pit" feeling in my stomach that things weren't connecting right. My mom knew Katie, who knew Melanie (follow along :) who is the vision worker for children who attend school in our school district with low vision problems. We called her to see if there was any way she could give me some advice on things to do with Coco and help her some. She is the first miracle! She got me hooked up with Brownie Giles who is an early intervention vision worker for Alabama Institute of Deaf and Blind. So, I was finding happiness in this situation. It was amazing how this was all playing out. I spoke with Brownie and she CAME TO MY HOME, within 24 hours, and accessed Coco, as well as gave me very good questions to ask at my eye dr appointment the next day! So this is how the week played out for me starting from last Wednesday....
- Last Wednesday- Brownie Giles shows up IN MY HOME to accesses Coco's vision within 24 hrs of speaking with me
- Thursday- I had the follow up eye appt for Cohen that I was REALLY looking forward to in order to ask a lot of questions I had....It didn't go that way, which leads me to the rest of my schedule.
- Friday- Thing 2 (Keith) and Thing 3 (snacks) had baseball games.
- Sat- Keith and Snacks had 2 more baseball games. CP3 had 2 baseball games that night.
- Sunday- Church and CP3 had another baseball game
- Monday- back to the eye dr with Cohen at 9 am
- Tuesday- Pediatrician appt with Cohen
- Wednesday- Physical Therapy with Cohen
- Thursday- BACK TO THE EYE DR WITH COHEN
- oh, and did i mention, I'm finishing up a dietetics degree in my spare time
So, needless to say, the schedule has been a smidge crowded. I didn't mind the crowdedness of it all, because like I said, I was "happy" with the external circumstances. That happiness quickly turned to sadness after my eye appt on Thursday. I had my long list of questions that all of my eye moms had helped me with, my social worker that had rushed TO MY HOME, and my own observations. I was ready, prepared, and had a very positive outlook on the visit. After waiting 2.5 hrs, dealing with a very fussy baby, a Dr. who had a very busy schedule and was behind, a contact that had deposits on it, a contact that got stuck in her eye, the visit was A BUST! I got NO questions answered and was in fact more confused than I was when I went for the visit. I was told the contact had deposits I would need to order a new one and come back IN TWO WEEKS to pick it up! Well, that did not fly with me or the hubs so we got a new one overnighted for Monday pick up. I went for the new contact on Monday, only to find that Coco's prescription had changed and we would need to order a THIRD contact for pick up on Thursday?!!!!! The confusion of the day was just too much. I had retreated from my "happy place" back to my sadness and confusion. Then miracle number two came to be.....
I received a call from Brownie saying that Coco qualifies for physical therapy, TO BE DONE IN OUR HOME AS MANY TIMES AS I THINK SHE NEEDS IT!!!!! At that point, I stopped, paused, and remembered what "JOY" really is, and thanked Jesus for these circumstances that we are in. My heart was full of so much joy and excitement. Pure joy. That even in the midst of all this chaos and confusion and busy schedules, that HE was providing so much for sweet Coco! I am learning that JOY, pure joy, comes from being content in ALL of my circumstances! Our God is good, and he is providing miracles for Cohen and her eye! I am a work in progress, just like Coco, but God is again, teaching us all that no matter our lot in life, He is enough for us! He WILL provide a way to accomplish his works in us all, even sweet baby Coco!
So for all of my eye mom's out there, here is what I've learned this week! In my state, Alabama Institute for Deaf and Blind (AIDB) has an early intervention program to work with birth - 3 yrs old. They will come TO YOUR HOME and give your child vision therapy, as many times as the child needs. Here is the second part of the miracle, THIS IS A FREE SERVICE! All I had to do was call their office, a worker was assigned to me, and she came and made an assessment of Cohen's vision and then a plan was formed for her. This organization also provided us with the physical therapist for Cohen, IN OUR HOME AND FREE OF CHARGE!
Most importantly, I've learned that joy comes from ALL of my circumstances in life and there is a blessing to be received in ALL situations! All I have to do, is open my heart, my attitude, and my eyes to the JOY placed in front of me and receive the blessing intended for me! So here's to being blind to happiness and living in the light of JOY!
